The final instalment of ‘Jenn’s Top Tips’
9. Plan ‘Wedding-Free Zone’ dates with your spouse to be!
I should have put this higher up the list to mark it as a priority. Taking time to not discuss your wedding, in my humble opinion, is crucial to saving both your sanity and your relationship! Planning a wedding is not normal, day-to-day life and when it’s over people often feel a bit of a void, because life had become so consumed by it. It’s also not the reason people fall in love and have relationships. A wedding is ONE day. Marriage is the rest of your lives so it’s important to start investing in that before you say the big ‘I do’ and practise being normal with one another!
10. Don’t be afraid to express yourselves.
There are so many expectations and stereotypes surrounding weddings, which personally I found very difficult. People have a way of being opinionated without openly berating your choices and it is the unspoken expectations as well as the spoken ones that can start to take their toll on you. I constantly used the phrase “too weddingy” to my husband, which baffled him for a long time until he understood that I wanted our wedding to reflect us as people. We aren’t glamourous, we’re not super-cool, we don’t have a specific ‘style’ (not Retro, Vintage, Stylish or Romantic) and neither of us is comfortable with drawing attention to ourselves. It felt insincere to adhere to a template that has traditionally or socially become expected. What was criticised in the run-up to our wedding is now commended for being ‘original’, when actually all we did was choose things we liked. But I’m not ashamed to say that I am proud of the wedding we put together.
My biggest tip that vetoes all of the above is to remember that the most important thing is the awesome and reverent act of uniting with someone you want to share your life with. Nothing else, absolutely nothing, is more important than that.